Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

Do you know what's fun about having sex with twenty-seven year-olds? There are twenty of them.

what did the mexican firefighter name his two sons. Ryan and Mike.......

Susie is 14 & she never listens to her mom, why is that? She's deaf.

What's my name? I don't know u tell me.

How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

Why did the blond fall of the ladder? She had no arms.

Your momma's so fat...

What's the difference between a prostitute and a cherry red Ferrari? A cherry red Ferrari isn't in my garage.

Religion

What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

A nun, a jew, and a KKK member are all stuck together in a lifeboat. A large wave overturns the boat and they all drown.

Knock, knock. Who's there? John. Oh, hey! Come in.

Why did the deaf man go to the concert? He had recently acquired a brand new hearing aid which meant that he was able to hear much better and decided that he wanted to listen to some music.

roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

why did the chicken cross the road ??? why would you care??

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender-"Hey we don't serve your kind here!" The duck-"What ducks?" The bartender -"No Jewish"

What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

Why was the black man unemployed? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

I bought a DVD called "the 18 holes of Tiger Woods". It was a fascinating incite into the golfing technique of arguably one of the greatest sportsmen of all time.

Are you from Tennessee? cuz i wanna makeout with your face.

Why coulden't the fish swim? He got poked in the eye with my nipple. My nipples get really big when I'm swimming in cold water.

Why did the fireman wear suspenders? To keep his pants up.

To be honest that sounds like more of a mental health issue and not something I'm qualified to deal with as a GP. Let me refer you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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