What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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a:two guys are white but one of the guys can only see black and white so he said dude you black he said no so they have a race who won :nobody they both got hit by a bus then a car then a donkey eaea then a horse

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Yo mammas so fat she went on a diet.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 1. Discovering your "girlfriend" is a man 2. The Holocaust 3. Being Raped 4. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid 5. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid who doesn't wear protection.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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wats worse than gettin bitched at by ur mom? gettin raped by a giant scorpian n getting SUPER ULTRA MEGA AIDS

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What is the difference between muffins and cornbread? I don't enjoy sticking cornbread in my anus.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

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yo mama so fat that she should be concerned because diabetes is a serious issue

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My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Animal cruelty

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: Banana! B: Not you again..(slams door)

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What happened to the boy who fell off the swing? He got hurt.

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What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

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Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

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Q. Did you hear about the kid napping? A. Yeah, he woke up and was grumpy

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Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Cadillac? A Cadillac is a car, and a dead baby is a morose and disgusting topic of internet humor.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? - "Robin, get in the Batmobile"

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What happened to the blonde that died her hair brown? Her hair turned brown.

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What's worse than being gay? Dying in a gas chamber in the Holocaust.

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what was the dinosaur after it got out of the pool? wet

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What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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