What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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Whats worse than falling down the stairs? Falling UP the stairs.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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Your momma's so fat... She's on a diet.

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I love my valentine <3 Hes mine no matter what anyone says <3 Cause i love him with all my heart <3

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what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have Alzheimers, Cheese on Toast.

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What's black, white,and red all over? A crime scene where a black and white man were brutally murdered by a psychopath that is still on the loose and could be killing someone else.

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Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange. Aren't You Glad I Didn't Say Cliterus?

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Q: What did the mime say to the crowd gathered at the crime scene? A:

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One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

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How many jews can get in a Volvo? 5.

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What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

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I need somebody to lean on... ...Because one of my legs was amputated after I was blown up on a mine field in afganistan.

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What do you call a man with three testicles? Polyorchid. Look it up.

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Know what's funny? Jokes.

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Knock knock

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What's more stinky than a fart? More farts.

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A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

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Two black guys walk into a country club and ask to play a round of golf. They are turned away because the aren't members of the club.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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