What couldn't the Asian drive? Because he had just gotten laser eye surgery, and the doctor recommended that he didn't drive for a few days.

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A man walked into a bar and said ow.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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Women's rights.

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Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

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whats silver and cries? a coin, although it can't cry because its a coin. So it's just silver

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Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

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Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

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How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Were your parents drunk when they named you?

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What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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Knock Knock Who's there? me oh

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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a man walks into a bar he is an alcohol and it's ruining his family

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

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acuna

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Roses are red It's 4 in the morning I have full blown aids I'm going to bed now, this is boring

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What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

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Your momma's so fat... She's on a diet.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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