A woman walks up to her man and asks him to take out the trash. He agrees and takes the trash out.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How did the fat man die? Someone who was mad at society shot him and many others in the head while at the workplace.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How can you kill a blonde? Hack her to bits.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

you momas so fat, you momas so ugly Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great Salvador Dali mistook them for cloth.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two muffins are in an oven. They are then baked at 375 for about 30 minutes and then taken out to cool.

thumb_up thumb_down

what is worse then stubbing your toe in the dark? -september 11th

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why does king kong so fat? because he eats to much

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's yellow and dangerous? China.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Where do bananas come from? Mexico

thumb_up thumb_down -18

26.5% of Americans are obese.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Roses are red Violets are purple I just got raped by a clown

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12- 18 (depending on size) I know this because i use to work at a abortion clinic

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: What do you call an aligator in a vest A: Investigator

thumb_up thumb_down -40

what did one caterpillar say to another caterpillar? let's be butterflies

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Emo Girl: Whats Your Favorite song? Regulor Girl: Something Carrie Underwood sing!(: Emo Girl: Are you retarted? Regulor Girl: Well im not the one who loves Emos .-. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Honstley, I didnt right this my cousin told me to wriget this... i think its stupied... And Yes, Ima Emo but im not trying to judge people if there emo or not! :D Luv ya! -Angel- <3

thumb_up thumb_down -152

What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

thumb_up thumb_down -158

Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +119

What did the lawyer get for Christmas? More paper work

thumb_up thumb_down +81

If you helped Jack on the horse, would you help Jack off the horse? Of course; if he was too short to climb onto the saddle then it would be irresponsible and potentially dangerous not to help him off. As his riding instructor, you would be liable for any injuries Jack sustained had he attempted to dismount the horse with no assistance.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

whats black. an african american person

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops