sometimes i take my duck a shower, i always use cold water because if i use hot water it will think im cooking it.

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Oh look, I've found my knife

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i was molested.

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A Woman out of the kitchen

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A quadrapeldgic walks no where

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i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

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Knock Knock Whose there? A field full of mexicans A field full if mexicans who? F**k You

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Women's Rights

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Three nuns walk into a bar. They realize they are in a place they don't want to be, so they leave, casting furtive glances around, fearing that someone from their congregation will see them and think they went in to drink.

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whats silver and cries? a coin, although it can't cry because its a coin. So it's just silver

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Yee

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What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

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What's brown and sticky? a stick.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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Q: What did my uncle Tom say when he first encountered my friend Richard Jefferson? A: Hello

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A: Cancer.

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What's more stinky than a fart? More farts.

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Oxygen and magnesium are going out OMG Think science the you might get it If not O oxygen mg magnesium

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Why did the chicken cross the road? know on knows as he can't talk

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What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A car that is driving recklessly and happens to have a Christmas paint scheme.

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Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yea, let's go bury it!"

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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you: knock knock person: who's there you: interrupting cow person: interrupting cow you:MOOOOOOOOO

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Q: why are kittens so cute? A: because god created them that way. go fourth and enjoy kittens.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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