Guess what? Chicken butt! No I have aids, you might want to get yourself tested

thumb_up thumb_down +6

a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

thumb_up thumb_down

A black man and a hispanic man are riding in a car. Who's driving? The hispanic man

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the vegetarian only work one day? Because her co-workers are cannibals.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Yo mammas so fat she went on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock Knock "Who's There?" *No answer* The man proceeds to go on with his life

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Boom.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why does crazy george spin a ball on his fingers well? because he has a huge dingo

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the pollock jump into the sea? A pollock is a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

"What's 'green', 'blue', and 'red' all over?" My color-blind friend said in confusion.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they dont make sense. Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What's worse than women's rights? Actually, not much, because women throughout history suffered for too long the hardships of over dominant male figures and deserve the freedoms they have achieved today.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Skittles are tasteless. Why? You can't taste the rainbow.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

thumb_up thumb_down -60

A man walks into a bar He says ouch

thumb_up thumb_down -124

Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +151

roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +105

A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

thumb_up thumb_down +87

What's pink and smells like chicken? A pink hair band, I was lying about the chicken part.

thumb_up thumb_down +85

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops