Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

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Q: What happened to the teenage girl and the serial rapist at Denny's around midnight? A: They both ordered the french toast Grand Slam breakfast (at Denny's, its breakfast any time!!).

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why didnt the chicken cross the road? he did cross the road

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What do you call a man with three testicles? Polyorchid. Look it up.

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Q: What is hard and long on a man? A: His wife's funeral

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This guys walks in a forest and meets a bear. So he says : - Yo yo, whattup, bear ? And the bear says "ROAR!" Because he's a bear.

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What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

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Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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On a scale of one to 10, F*ck yourself.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Boo Boo Who? Boo Smith, I'm the town rapist.

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Yo mammas so fat she went on a diet.

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Q:What are black basketball players good at? A:Running,shooting and stealing.

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What rhymes with you? You.

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What is the difference between muffins and cornbread? I don't enjoy sticking cornbread in my anus.

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Why did the chiken cross the road. Anwer: because it was being chased by a crazy horny/ kinky redneck.

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A bear walks into a bar. The building is evacuated swiftly but several people are killed

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Why did the women hit the telephone pole? There are many theories but one suggests that it is due to womens statistically lower cognitive spacial reasoning abilities.

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What runs faster than a nigger with a stolen tv? His brother with the remote

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What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

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a man cries out to god.... and god does't reply.

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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Your mom smells so bad that she proceeded to take a shower and then didnt smell bad at all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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