Q. Did you hear about the kid napping? A. Yeah, he woke up and was grumpy

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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What's brown and sticky? a stick.

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My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? Nothing, he's the same person

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A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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Dick Chaney

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Why? Because racecar.

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What do you call a black person who drives a plane? A pilot.

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was mercilessly beaten by his mother.

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Do you know what's fun about having sex with twenty-seven year-olds? There are twenty of them.

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What do you get when you cross a pelican with a mountain goat? It's hard to say.

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A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

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What did the republican say to the democrat? You suck!

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What's black, white,and red all over? A crime scene where a black and white man were brutally murdered by a psychopath that is still on the loose and could be killing someone else.

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How's your mum? she's dead..

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What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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What's pink and smells like chicken? A pink hair band, I was lying about the chicken part.

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A wolf boards a plane with two dead rabbits in his mouth. The flight attendant approaches him and says, "Sir, you can only have one of those on the plane." The wolf bites her throat out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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