69.9

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GONNA

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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Why did the pollock jump into the sea? A pollock is a fish.

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26.5% of Americans are obese.

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3 men find a genie lamp on the side of a road, The genie grants them each a wish as they surely deserve. The first man asks for a jet and the genie glady grants him this and the man starts to fly away. The second man says to make a wall around asia and the genie complies. The third man thinks for a minute and finally says fill it with water and as a genie the genie cannot refuse. They all drowned seeing how the jet had no fuel. The genie goes back to sleep and is picked up by an alien 5,000 years in the future, the Earth is destroyed in 7012(as if we didnt already destroy it). The genie survives and currently resides on uranus.

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

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I just lost the game where if you think about the game then you lose the game. so did you.

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Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

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Bobby got a new bike there are black kids in bobby's neighborhood bobby doesnt have a new bike anymore

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What did St. Mary Magdalene tell Pontius Pilate during the crucifixion of Christ? All this chaos is making me CROSS-eyed!

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A man walked into a bar, he then fell to the ground screaming in pain.

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Why did the girl say 'baa'? Because she was a lamb.

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Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? he tripped over his mother's dead body

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the overwhelming feeling of self doubt created by an abusive drug addicted father which has left him seeking life threatening situations that should never befall a simple chicken.

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A man walked in a bar had 4 drinks and walked home because drunk driving is dangerous

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Dick Chaney

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

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What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

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What did the FBI agent say to the CIA agent. We're both agents

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Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He has insomnia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops