John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says its getting hot in here the other muffin say holy shit a talking muffin.

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A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

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What do you call a boy that fell off a ferry? Extremely unlucky, since one of the other passengers noticed and the captain turned the ferry around, threw him a ladder, and pulled him aboard. Also he died of hepatitis because his mother was too poor to afford condoms, so he was born with it.

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What's the difference between black people and white people? Their skin color.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

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What is white, and hurts when it falls from a tree? -tom

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Little Johnny asks his father how babies are made. So the father rapes him from behind.

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What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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What rhymes with you? You.

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Do you know what's fun about having sex with twenty-seven year-olds? There are twenty of them.

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What's my name? I don't know u tell me.

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yo mama so fat that she should be concerned because diabetes is a serious issue

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There is a running race, both black and white people are running in this race! Half way through there is an avalanche and every black person running was killed! Who won the race??? Society... :D

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a jew throwing a dime into a wishing well.

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A nun, a jew, and a KKK member are all stuck together in a lifeboat. A large wave overturns the boat and they all drown.

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Why did the deaf man go to the concert? He had recently acquired a brand new hearing aid which meant that he was able to hear much better and decided that he wanted to listen to some music.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

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Your so ugly That when you look into a mirror it shows an accurate potrail of your unproportionit face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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