Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

A Quadriplegic walks into a bar.

Roses are red violets are blue Timmy what are doing with that gun?! Bang....

What do you get when u cross a owl and a bungy cord...........my ass

What's the difference between a car and a sack of dead babies? I don't keep a car in my garage.

How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got for Christmas? He's his dad. He bought the presents.

Q: Why do geese fly in a V? A: It's more aerodynamic.

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Everything.

Whats better than 32 dead babies stapled to 1 tree? - 1 dead baby stapled to 32 trees

A guy gets murdered, because of the Reco act the whole gang he belongs to goes to jail as well. They cry in their beds

Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

Why did Kelly lose all interest in men? An aneurysm in her brain popped

How many seeds does a watermelon have? None. It is seedless.

"Knock knock." "Come in."

If life gives you melons, you have dyslexia.

A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. That's what she said

Why did the man have sex with other men? Because he was homosexual.

Is it colder on a farm than in the winter?

What's worse than having no coffee at the office? Looking out the window on the 100th floor and seeing the cockpit of a Boeing 767.

What'd the mexican get for his birthday, birthday cards from his friends and family.

Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

Why did the little boy fall of his bicycle? It was the first time he road without his training wheels.

Why did the monkey ride a bike? Because he was taken from his natural environment, abused for years and forced to ride a bike.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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