Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

why did bob fall off the swing Because he got hit by a microwave

How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know; I was too busy masturbating.

What did the dog say to the other dog? Woof.

I once walked into my grandmas house to find her laying face down on the ground. It turns out that everyone was planking but grandma wasn't breathing...

Why did Jimmy get off of the park bench? he wanted candy from the man in the white van

How do you stop a blind kid from walking into oncoming traffic? .................to late!!!!!!!

whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

Your momma's so fat she ate oranges and coffe

What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

What do you call a half-Latino, half-Asian baby? The product of a healthy interracial couple.

I have aids

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

Your mom came to my house last night. We played chess.

Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

Why did Valter fall of the swing? Because he didn't have any arms Knock knock Whos there? Not valter

Why did little Timmy fall down? Because he was shot in the head.

A paraplegic women falls off a boat. Regardless of the fact that she was wearing a properly inflated flotation device, she still managed to drown. She died instantly, the next day.

What is the difference between a black man and a piece of fried chicken? Fried chicken is a breaded meal that is high in calories whereas a black man is an unedible human being with feelings.

Two muffins are sitting in the oven. One says wow its hot in here the other muffin said HOLY SHIT ITS A TALKING MUFFIN

I fantasize about having sex with a moose

Q: Why do geese fly in a V? A: It's more aerodynamic.

What's the difference between a car and a sack of dead babies? I don't keep a car in my garage.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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