Why did the woman pay $5,000 for a gallon of milk? She didn't. She paid $2.99.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What is a man? A misserable little pile of shi... Moral: What is a man?

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

thumb_up thumb_down -34

whats brown and half eaten? yeah an easter egg that a parent has given to there son/daughter before dinner

thumb_up thumb_down -34

why did the golfer ware two ares of paents. if he got a hole in one

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Your mama's so fat, she can't even find clothes that fit her well.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What`s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff What did the banana say to the ear? Hello

thumb_up thumb_down -36

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Wanna hear another joke? Wes Trillows penis!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -36

once opon a time. never mind i'm just going to beat you kids.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

-Have you ever seen an elephant hidden behind a thread? -No. -How come you're seeing it, he's hidden.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why didn't the Country club waiter enjoy iced tea? He's simply always had a preference for warm beverages. He assumes this goes back to his infant days when his mother would massage his belly with warm porridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

dead dibbs

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A man and a women are having sex. He farted so she left before he came.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A man walks into a bar. The barman says, 'why the lo-, wait, i thought you was that horse again.'

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

The day after Christmas a chain-smoker, a sex addict, and an alcoholic go to the doctor. The doctor tells the three friends that they need to quit their addiction or they will die. R.I.P. Tommy, Jacob, and Winston 1/1/2011

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have STD's, Now so do you!

thumb_up thumb_down -36

what did the judge say to the lawyer during a trial. He said We are all in a court. thus concluding that the judge was retarted.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A muslin walks into a bar, and has the same equal rights as everyone else and orders a pint of fosters.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Call jets pizza at 8637090999 and say porr cisero is still stuck and shit will go down

thumb_up thumb_down -36

How do you get a blonde to eat crayons? Threaten to kill her parents with a hacksaw.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What do an eagle and a mole have in common? They both fly, except for the mole.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops