Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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Just got cancer: YOLO!! -sad face-

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Kid 1 Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken. Kid 2 Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys. Kid 1 You know what? I think you're right Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What's worse than being shot? Being shot twice.

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What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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Four guys are on an airplane. The plane lands safely and the four guys return to their families.

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Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

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A wife asks her husband to treat her like she's special. So he tells her, "Gooooooooooo... Maaaaaaaaaaaaake... Meeeeeeee.... Aaaaaa.... Saaaaaaaandwitch

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How do you get santa to stop delivering presents? Kill your parents.

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I once walked into my grandmas house to find her laying face down on the ground. It turns out that everyone was planking but grandma wasn't breathing...

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why did bob fall off the swing Because he got hit by a microwave

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Woof.

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A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

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whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

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Why did Jimmy get off of the park bench? he wanted candy from the man in the white van

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How do you stop a blind kid from walking into oncoming traffic? .................to late!!!!!!!

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Your momma's so fat she ate oranges and coffe

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What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

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knock , knock That Was The Same Mistake That Ann Frank Made.

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How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know; I was too busy masturbating.

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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What is less funny than a clown? Another clown ... but with fewer limbs.

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Why are objects in your mirror closer than they appear? Because they are closer than they appear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops