What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

There were two friends, a girl and a boy. The girl had a ribbon tied to her neck, and every day the boy asked her why, yet she'd never tell him. They grew up together, and fell in love and still, she wouldn't tell him why she had the ribbon on her neck. They got married, and grew old, and still she wouldn't tell him. But one day, she said to him 'I'll show you why I keep this on my neck' and she took it off and her head fell off.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What happens when you die? Your body gets decomposed by bacteria

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why couldnt Jimmy ride a bike? refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M's factory? For throwing away all the W's

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: Why are Cats called Lolcat? A: They forgot to put "i" between l & c

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call Morgan Freeman at a family reunion? Morgan Freeman.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the little kids call the boy "pornboy" Because he showed gay porn at the bus stop

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How long does it take to paint a house with babies? It matters how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

thumb_up thumb_down +18

hey i jut met u, and i have alzeihmer, cheese and toast

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the man have square fingers? Because he has Apert Syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was the guy stupid? 'Cause he was!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Steve Jobs is alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Did you here about the Asian couple who had a stupid baby? They named him Sum Ting Wong

thumb_up thumb_down +18

''Today is Star Wars day :)'' ''Why's that?'' ''guess'' ''I don't know :/'' ''It's May the 4th!'' ''And?'' ''May the 4th be with you :p''

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why is life so hard? Because god isn't real

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why is the moon gray? Why is it not?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why is the sky blue? Because it is

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what looks like a bug, lives in larch mount and lives in a mansion? Aodhan Hearty, lied about the mansion... he lives in a web with his buggy family

thumb_up thumb_down +18

kennah campion... being nice

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops