Father Murphy met Samuel Myer on the street. Sam it's been a month o' Sundays since I've seen you. You look propserous. How's the moile business? A snip better, Father, since we talked last. And thank you. For what, Sam? Well the last time we met you asked what I did with the foreskins. Well, here is the answer, my new business. What's this, a wallet. But so smooth, Sam. Yeah, Father, but when you rub it. Rub it, Sam? Yeah when you rub it it falls apart. And you have to buy a new one! Mazel Tov!

A cheerio gets a job at McDonalds and after working for a while, he gets employee of the month and goes to the district ball. While there, he meets a female(frosted) cheerio whom he asks out. She refuses because she only dates frosted cheerios. So, the male goes back to work for the next year, and his boss is happy with his work, so he asks him if he would like anything. The cheerio says yes, i want to be frosted. The boss says ok, i'll make you frosted, so now that he's frosted, he goes back to the ball. He asks the same female cheerio out, she says yes this time. He then asks her if she wants something to drink, she says yes. She wants some milk. So the guy stands in line for about 15 minutes, when he gets to the front, there is no more milk left. So he asks her if she would like some tea. she says yes. So he goes and stands in line for another 15 minutes only to find out there is no more tea. So then he asks her if she would like some punch, shesays yes. So after an hour of searching, he finds out there is no punchline......

If a quiz is quizzical, what's a testicle?

Q-Jetski A-How is olive oil made?

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

What's 18 inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

Wanna hear a joke? Women Voteing. -Austin Conradt

What do you call a man who has reached the highest level of prestige in all Call of Duty games? A Virgin

A sober Amy Winehouse

how many times did lucy's mom drop her baby on its head? none, her mom died giving birth.....

why aren't doughnuts square? because they are round

Why didn't the man laugh at his son's joke? Because he was born without a mouth.

How do you make Barack Obama upset? Stab him.

kushagra tyagi

Q: What did the passengers think of thier Chineese bus driver? A: They were very pleased with the bus driver's service, for he was a very safe driver and got them to their destination on time.

what did the lesbian do with the other lesbian? played badminton

What did Rebecka black say on Thursday? Today is thursday.

What happened when the boy fell off of the bridge? He died

Harry Potter: Hey voldemort, you wanna go get our noses pierced?? Voldemort: I killed your parents.

How do you make a cripple cry Cut of his legs, THEN telll him a joke

Roses are red Violets are blue That's what they tell me Because I'm blind

why did they bury bin laden at sea? because he died

What's worse then having your wife leaving you? Taking the kids with her.

Yo mom as so dumb.... That she has a low IQ

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...