What shall we do with the drunken sailor? Call the police to have him escorted off the boat for operating a large veichle under the influence of alcohol.

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What is the difference between a seal and an armadillo? They are both aquatic animals, except for the armadillo.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A scholarship to a prestigious college that he did not deserve.

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What's a foot long and slippery, a slipper

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Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A. One's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other's a highly trained professional skilled in the art of litigation.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

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Nero, seriously, one way or the other, ill kill you, my mom blushes like every time people talk to her so fuck you, my sister if you touch her, ill.... Man, stop and ill forgive you, and I am very very sorry, now stop sending me those pics, and please do not post them anywhere, Line would not want to.

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A Russian drinking something other than vodka.

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What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

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Why did the deer cross the road? The overpopulation of man has caused an expansion of construction into the habitat of the deer and it has required him to occasionally frequent human populated areas.

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Continents are large islands.

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Why did Timmy masticate in front of everyone at the dinner table? If he hadn't, he would have choked on large chunks of food.

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shit is shit, even if you paint it purple; its still shit

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What did the homosexual give in his secret box? important papers from work.

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What did the monkey say to the Pope and the Queen? Good evening, Your Holiness. Good evening, Your Majesty,

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

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Whats fun about having sex with twenty six year olds? Theres twenty of them

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. -Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Not Sally.

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What red, white, and blue? A white person who was raped by a clown.

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whats black white and red all over an abused child

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what do you call something that dosint exist? nothing.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a woman

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I have a dirty joke. Poop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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