What's harder than killing a baby? My penis while doing it. by: Lucky7 LG

Y R U A B? I don't know why I am a bee.

roses are blue violetrs are green im shooting heroine into my head

Why don't jews believe in Jesus Because jews believe Jesus Christ was not their savior

A: My dog has no nose. B: How does it smell? A: Terrible.

Why did the road cross the chicken? REVENGE

A man attempts to rob a bank. The police are called and the robber is arrested for attempted robbery.

Knock knock. Who's there? Obama. Obama who? Barack Obama, President of the United States. I was wondering if I could borrow a cup of sugar. I'm baking cookies for my family, because they really like my cookies.

Women's rights

Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

Why do Vampires drink your blood? Because the movie maker needed a story

I don't usually drink beer, but when I do it usually doesn't take much for me to feel the effects of intoxication.

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

What do you call Justin Bieber's assassin? A hero doing a noble favor to the community.

some kid told me pink dolphin clothiing was nigged, so i took an eraser , gave it to his sister and beat the poop out of hiis car ON A THURSDAY!!!!!!

Where does the Queen of England live? England.

Yo momma is so ugly that she should probably consider suicide

When life throws you lemons, you probably have dyslexia

There are two muffins in an oven neither can say anything at the moment, however, because both are in excruciating pain.

How can you make sure your friend wont die of cancer? Decapitate him

Ask me if I'mm a candy cane. Shutup, there are a lot of these types of jokes. Create your own you poophead.

What do you think 3 black men want when the come and knock on your car window? They just want directions.

what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

How do you kill a red elephant? You can't red elephants don't exist.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...