A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? *snicker* F*ck a duck.

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Why'd the dead man cross the road? He didn't, he was dead, therefore incapable of doing anything at all.

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What did the president do for the people? ...

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What's under the first mate? The second mate.

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why did the cow say "moo"? because he's a cow and that's what cows say.

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This is a Poem, your Adopted

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what kind of sex did ethan have? webcam sex

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An atom walks into a bar. Did it grow legs?

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What do you call a bad yo mama joke? your mom

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How do u wake up lady gaga You go into her room and yell at her

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My friend was in court for stealling smoothies so i told him to plead innocent and received 10 years in a federal prison and a fine of up too £5000 pounds

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Artists have unique minds and can rotate shapes within their mind. I'm going to masterbate.

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Why did the man yell at his wall? Because it jumped out and scared him when he walked past

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Good job, son.

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A man walks into a bar so how many Jews were there when a man called Wellard ate a pizza. Balloons

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What's bigger than China and Smaller than my penis? Russia and a smaller penis.

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Why did the dinosaurs become extinct? Because they wanted to.

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Y

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How did the man eat 100 mints in one bite? I'm not sure myself, but we can agree on one thing, his breath is gonna fresh.

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Yo mom is so stinky that when she gets in a room every one leaves the room

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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