A man named Chuck walks into a bar. One of the patrons says, "Oh my god! You're Walker, Texas Ranger!" Chuck replies, "No, that's Chuck Norris. I'm Chuck Connors. I played the Rifleman." The man replies, "Wait, aren't you dead?"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

If you pull a pin out of a grenade, is it possible to put it back? I need a quick answer for this question.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what do call a girl with a waterslide nose? Ava Sherman

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call an Arab driving a Plane? A Pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the 60 y/o man take erectile dysfunction pills? His doctor prescribed them.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two kids walk into a bar and get arrested for underage drinking.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red Violets are blue What about pansies

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happened to the black guy who got pulled over by the cops? He was told that his left tail light was out

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why was the toddler sad? he was diagnosed with cancer after his dog was put down because it raped and murdered his parents

thumb_up thumb_down +8

laughter is the best medicine, unless you have cancer, then you will die.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

George Bush=Bush Dick Cheny=Dick Colin Powell=Colon Condoleezza Rice=Rice One of these doesn't belong here.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A British man walks into a dentist's office.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you get we you mix a ginger with gasoline? A forest fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many squirrels does it take to drive a refrigerator 10 quarts per elephant? Vanilla Cake

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13

thumb_up thumb_down +8

knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how many babies can fit into a microwave i dont know i havent tried

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? because it wanted ti get to to other side. why did the medic cross the road? beacause there was a seriously injured chiken on the side of the road, it had been hit by a fat man on a jog

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a rich black person? A: Oprah

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A Jew walks into a bar, he buys it.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops