A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

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How's the weather? Good.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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Why do dogs chase squirrels? Beacuse dogs have very low attention spands and also chase cars and cats.

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Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

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Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

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carn ehney bodie hellp mie with mine smellings?

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What did the wall say to the other wall? I didn't say anything because it isn't living and it can't talk because it is impossible.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to escape the evil villains in giant mech suits.

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a red corvette? i don't have a red corvette in my garage

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A couple is playing chess. The man then chokes his wife to death, throws her body in a woodchopper, and eats her like cereal- Frost

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How dou you find the population of mexico? Take a census....... By throwing a dime in the street!

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Why couldn't the Chinese women see... It's because she just got into a terrible car accident and suffered a rental detachment in both eyes. Follow up question, why was the Chinese women even allowed to drive?

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Why was the black kid in the AP Calculus classroom? Because he was a very driven student, who studied hard so that he could attend a good University and build a good life for himself and his family.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother.

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An asian and a black guy walked into a bar. An ambulance rushed to their aid as they were in great pain and had a slight chance of becoming paraplegic.

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What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you haven't already said twice.

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What sucks more than being married? Being shot in both kneecaps

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

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There were a dog and a cat in a family house. The dog turned to the cat and said .. nothing because a dog can not speech the human language.

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what did god say when we made his first black person oops i acidenlty burnt it

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What did jesus REALLY say while walking on water? "I really hope I find a nice patch of sand to swim in."

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What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops