While teaching her second grade class, Mrs. Peets asks the class a question from last night's homework, "OK class, what did you get for number five, 5+12=?" A kid in the back raises his hand slowly. "Yes James?", said the teacher. The kid in the back says, "My dick is as hard as a rock, Mrs. Peets."

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i found waldo.

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Q: How do you catch a squirrel? A: Throw a fridge at it

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what did charlie sheen do when his ex wife insulted him? he horribly abused her

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What do you get when someone tells you an anti joke? An anti joke.

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What do you call a black man who is great at basketball? An all-star

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Yo mama is so fat... she died due to type two diabetes.

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Did you know that many scientists will find out what happens after death within your lifetime? But not their lifetime...

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What did Big Dog say to Little Dog? "We are both dogs."

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What is worse than getting hit by a bus? 9/11

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why did the chicken cross the road? I don't care! What are you doing in my house?

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whats white and sticky? a white stick

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Why does Bugs Bunny have big ears? Because he's a rabbit

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Why did Emily sit in a lonely corner? Because she just wanted to okay!

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whats the diffrence between madeline macan and a submarine? there isnt one there both at the bottom of the sea and full of seaman

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There were three elephants in a bathtub. One said, "Pass me the soap." The other one said, "What do you think I am? A Radio???"

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What happened to the chinese man who walked into a wall with a boner? He hurt himself.

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Say this to someone: On a scale from one to ten, what is your favorite color?

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Why was the couple in the waiting room crying? Because their son was diagnosed of AIDS and will probably not live into his twenties.

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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im watching you..

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What do you call 4 Mexicans getting into a car late at night? 3rd Shift carpooling

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How to confuse a dumbass: see next post.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops