When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? there are more birds on that side

thumb_up thumb_down

An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for Christmas? The sweet, merciful release of death at the hands of his father, who had been struggling with the emotional and financial drain of raising a severely disabled child for many years. It was only a matter of time before the man snapped, as he was a single parent working twenty hour days, seven days a week, to just barely cover all the medical bills that the specialists and therapy incurred.

thumb_up thumb_down

%3c%2fa%3e%3c%2fh3%3e alert("The Game."); %3cScR%69pt%2ffoo%3eev%61l%28%27ale%27+%27ert%28%29%27%29;

thumb_up thumb_down

A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" asks the bartender. "I want six shots of whisky," responds the young man. "Six shots? What’s the occasion?" asks the barman. "My first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let me give you a seventh on the house." To which the young man replies, "No offence sir, but if six shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock, knock Who's there? Landlord; you've been evicted.

thumb_up thumb_down

Bob: If two negatives make a positive, what would be an anti-anti-joke? Tim: An anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down

A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful busness man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

thumb_up thumb_down

what did blonde say to the square? ur a square which is comprised of four equal sides and always have four lines of symmetry.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? A friendly individual who cares nothing about racial differences and instead judges people based on character.

thumb_up thumb_down

What does an Israeli gun sound like? Jew, jew, jew, jew, jew

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was suicidal

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the best time to go to the dentist? When your tooth breaks or you need braces.

thumb_up thumb_down

When geese fly in the "V" shape, why is one side longer than the other? There are more geese on that side.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why isn't Abraham Lincoln on Mount Rushmore? Because he doesn't have a helicopter and he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

How many policemen does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just beat up the room for being black

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the homeless man decide it was time to get off the streets? He wanted to save face.

thumb_up thumb_down

Hey guess whats funny? Matthew Mcconaughey Oh wait, never mind

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Jorge eat Larry's face? He was on bath salt.

thumb_up thumb_down

What is the best part about having sex with tweny-six year olds. There are twenty of them. ap~pac

thumb_up thumb_down

Are you one of those gay rapists that flame around telling people no all the time?

thumb_up thumb_down

why was the girl raped? she left the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you do when you see a hot girl in your bed

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops