Boy: Excuse me, do you have a cigarette? Man: First let me see your ID. Boy: I don't have an ID Man: Well, how much money do you have? Boy: 50 cents Man: Sorry, I don't have any cigarettes. Boy: Good job, I'm actually undercover cop and you sir are a good citizen for not giving a minor cigarettes. Man: Cool, do I get a reward? Boy: Yes, you will receive a good citizen award and free $50 coupon. Man: Thank you! Boy: Can I have a cigarette now? Man: I wasn't lying when I said I didn't have any cigarettes. Boy: Okay, have a nice day.

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Why did William commit suicide? Because his grandmother had recently died of terminal cancer. His mother left him on the front step when he was two, and moved to Tennessee with her baby daddy.

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how do you wake up a black man? scream!!!!!

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once there where 3 guys on a beach. they found a bottle and a fetis came out.. later they found out 2 of the 3 had cancer and the 3rd was a vegetable.

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What do you call an Islamic man fling a plane? A very frightened passenger who took over flying the plane when the pilot collapsed due to a heart attack

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Guy 1: "hey look that homeless guy is riding a bike!" Guy 2 " Ya i know and look, there's a dead pro biker other there"

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There are two muffins in an oven neither can say anything at the moment, however, because both are in excruciating pain.

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Knock Knock. *silence* Knock Knock.

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What's in a bag of dead babies? Dead babies and one alive baby eating it's way out.

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Why did the black 10 year old miss school? Because his grandmother just had a severe heart attack and the whole family is coming in to visit and pay their last respects.

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You got yourself a mole, I suggest you restrict all access to any and everyone that could possibly go under aliases such as: The Wiz. Azure. Dungeon Lord. Dice. Wizard, and anything similar, he is most likely a computer geek which does not necessarily look like one.

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What do you call a man with leaves on his head? Steve, he's on camouflage training in the Army.

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What's the difference between a bird and a wheel? They both fly, I lied about the wheel.

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What do you call a Pokemon without a trainer? A wild pokemon.

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman went to the top of the Empire State building to have a penis measuring contest. The Irishman had the longest penis.

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Why did the scarecrow win the nobel prize? Cos he was out standing in his field!

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What to hear an anti-joke? No.

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What's worse than burning your bacon? Finding your daughter decapitated and raped in the basement.

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Whats fleash color fleash color and fleashcolor? a naked hobo rolling down a hill

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Roses are red, violets are blue That's a fact.

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Can you help jack Off. The elephant?

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A man walks into a bar, a man behind him doesn't.

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Guy One: Guess what? Guy Two: What? Guy One: I don't know, that's why I asked you.

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What do you call a man who tripped on a rock? A man who tripped on a rock.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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