*Pretend your an orphan] Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Three men are sitting in a tub. One of them says "Toss me the soap." The second one says "Toss me the shampoo." The third one says "Toss me the toaster."

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are red, violets are blue, they really should be purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you say when you see a flying donkey Wtf

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Where did the guy who shot his neighbor go? Jail, because he was caught, sent to court, and was convicted of murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

My dog got out of it's cage. So I found it and be the shit out of

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a fat kid? I don't know...you tell me

thumb_up thumb_down +24

So, a Hispanic, Jewish, Asian man are on a plane. The pilot turns to them and says "Aren't you tired of this?"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What worse that punching a baby? Stabing one.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Barak Obama, Justin Bieber, and Lindsey Lohan all jump out of a plane. all of their parachutes deploy. except Justin Bieberrs, he then dies of cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +24

89 bottles of beer on the wall, 89 bottles of beer, if one alcoholic passes the wall, 0 bottles of beer on the wall!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the black guy who was lost in Syria say? "Where am I?"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why can't Jeff drive a car? because he is a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: What said the first bagel to the other? A: Nothing! Bagels can't talk!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Therefore, I am a potato.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, your body rejected the transplant and you died.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops