A new born baby is left alone in his crib after a long day of playing, He gets taken out of his crib for his first meal with his grandparents, he is excited, His grandparents come in and after the usual praising of the child they sit down for dinner, They are having chicken, His mother puts the spoon to his mouth, He chews it and swallows it, It gets stuck in his throat and he suffocates and dies.

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Yo mama's so fat she needed a toilet that had a bigger seat (just like me)

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Who wins the battle of climbing a fence, the Mexican Man or the Black Man? The Mexican Man, the Black Man is still hanging from the tree.

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raising eyebrows to expose eyes can also be a signal of attraction ('I'm looking at you, gorgeous. Can you see?').

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Roses are red Zombies are hungry and blue My brain is half-eaten And what about you?

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There once was a boy. On his birthday, he got a small puppy. The puppy was white and had big eyes. Boy loved his puppy and the puppy loved the boy.

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms. Why didn't she get back on the swing? cause she had no legs. Why didn't anyone help her up? Cause she had no friends. Why did she stay their all night? cause she had no family.

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Why is it good to date twenty eight year olds? Because there is twenty of them.

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What do a Fascist and a Democrat both have in common? Involvement in politics.

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What's worse than a holocaust? two holocausts.

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What do you get when you put Star Wars and Disney together? A Bad Sequel

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What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing

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Why is it irrelevant whether someone is a twat or not? Love your neighbour.

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Poop

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Why did the kid have no arms? A clown came and chopped them off.

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Why a man without hands and without legs want to stay in a barrel? He actually doesn't, but is unable to get out of it.

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A man is playing pacman, on his last life, and is cornered. He inserts another coin in the slot.

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I just found my mum has Alzheimer's, I hope it isn't contagious cause my mum has it too

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Your mama's so fat that when she farted, gas came out!

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women's rights.

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What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You are green Curse you!

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Try it Yourself »

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops