A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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What do blueberries, oranges, watermelons, doors, curtains, backpacks, spoons, asian men, bicycles, asian men on bicycles, shrimp, books, eagles, dinosaurs, watermelons wearing backpacks filled with shrimp and orange spoons, feet, limes, binders, paper, candles, chicken nuggets, tvs, chairs, floors, refridgerators, and humidifiers have in common? Barnes and Noble

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Yo mama's so fat she needed a toilet that had a bigger seat (just like me)

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What's that Lassie? Timmy fell in the well again? And you couldn't care less because the stupid kid never looks where he's going?

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What do you call a child with a peg leg, and eye patch, and no hand? Names

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Hot Lady: What do you do for a living? Guy: Phosphorus, Oxygen, and Radon. Hot Lady: So you are a chemist? Guy: Think again! Think about Acronyms... Hot Lady: OPRa, so Opera correct? Guy: (Obviously talking to a Blonde) P, O, Rn Hot Lady: So, you are a chemistry teacher! Guy: (Sighs to himself thinking how PORn relates to chemistry. Which it does in biochemistry, but he does not know that).

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What did Steven Hawkings say as he fell down the stairs? .................

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knock,knock whos there? teddybear. teddybear who? a teddybear killed your family.

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What is worse than 10 babys in 1 garbage can? 1 baby in 10 garbage cans.

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Why did the giant try to eat the magical rainbow? A: Because the apocalypse is predicted for the Wednesday after santa gets shot by the evil jolly ice cream man which in secret is cheating on his wife who in turn eats every human baby ever known to man. duhhhhh

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When an intellectual was told by someone, "Your beard is now coming in," he went to the rear entrance and waited for it. Another intellectual asked what he was doing. Once he heard the whole story, he said: "I'm not surprised that people say we lack common sense. How do you know that it's not coming in by the other gate?"

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What's worse than finding half of a worm in an apple? a razorblade.

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Sometimes i like to paint myself red and then curl up into a ball and pretend i'm a tomato.

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what do you call a fish with no gills? Dead

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How many people buried in a cemetery are dead? All of them.

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42

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? An opera singer singing in the shower

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an average-looking woman walks into a bar. nobody really notices.

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why is ginger kid so sad? Because his all family was killed

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What does bigfoot have? Big feet.

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What did the Watermelon say to its baby? I'll SEED you later!

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What's worse than 10 babies stapled to a tree? The Holocaust.

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Why couldn't the pirate enter into the movie? Because he's dead.

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Why cant a black person read? Because there is nothing to read...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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