What do you call a concentration camp with a mental disability? Auschwistic.

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Did you hear about the kid from Texas? He shot his campus up.

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A man goes to the hospital he says to the doctor while poking his leg it hurts here. Then he pokes his arm and here. Then his head and here. "Yes" the doctor says you've broken your finger.

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Whats a dogs favorite thing to eat? Food.

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Why did the old man cross the road? Coz he was in an ambulance

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If somebody stabs you in the forehead, you are likely to get injured.

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what do you call a cross between lasagna and a human. weird

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None we have mexicans for that

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why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

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Q: Why did the dog bark? A: it cant talk.

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What do you call a house full of Mexicans? A house

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How many Woman does it take to change a lightbulb? none they had a back up lamp

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So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

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Why did the chicken cross the road Who the f*** let out the chicken

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Q. Whats does the kid and the dog have in common? A. The kid has Herpes.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? A: The holocaust

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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A bear walks into a bar, and says "I'd like a gin... and tonic." The bartender says "AAAAHHH! A BEAR!!!" and calls animal control. Later after the beast has been tranquilized and carted away, he rationalizes having heard the bear speak as trauma-induced hallucination.

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Simba from the Lion King? One is a cartoon character from a beloved Disney classic and the other is the current President of the United States of America.

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What do you call a person who drinks beer a lot? Alcohol abuser.

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If I were a cat, would you help with the toast?

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What did the mexican firefighter name his kids? Jose and Pablo

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If you watch the titanic backwards, its really about a magical ship which saves peoples lives!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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