What did the black man say before he went to sleep? im going to sleep

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Q: what's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon A: well the first noticable difference is that the watermelon tastes better.

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What's the only think duct tape can't fix? Your parents divorce.

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Why did the chicken open door? It can't. Chickens don't have hands.

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Why didn't the ghost go to the dance? He didn't exist.

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A Holocaust joke? I did Nazi that coming...Anne, Frankly, I'm quite offended.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A blind deer.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Why couldn't the blonde make ice cubes? Because recently she has been missing payments on the elictric bill because of economic hardships.

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Roses are Red Violets are Red My Garden is on Fire.

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What do u call something that's sticky and in a stick form? A glue stick :)

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Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

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whats worse than biting your apple and finding a worm? WWII.

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why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? He likes bungie jumping, and wanted to cheer himself up by doing one of his favorite hobbies

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? hit him in the head with an axe

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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whats purple and brown lucozade sport

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Once upon a time there was a man sleeping, Then he woke up.

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were no traffic.

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A blone walks into a bank in New York City and asks the bank teller for a $5000 loan because she's going to Mexico for 2 weeks. The bank teller said he would need some security for the money. The blonde tells him her new Rolls Royce is in the parking Lot and she hands him the keys. The blonde gets the money and goes on her trip. Another employee at the bank then parks the car in the underground parking garage. He later ffinds out the blonde is a multi millionaire. When the blonde arrives home from she pays back the $5000 and $15 interest. When the bank teller asks her why she gave them a $250000 car for security or needed the $5000 loan if she was a multi millionaire, the blonde answers, "Where else can you park your car in New York City and expect it to stillbe there when you return?"

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Three explorers are walking through the jungle when they are suddenly captured by a group of cannibals, the cannibals, going through years of culture and hereditary custom, kill the explorers, skin their bodies, chop them to pieces and cook their flesh, finally they eat it giving them a prosperous feast while the rest of the world is unaware of whatever happened in that jungle.

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What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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why did the clown fall off the swing because he got shot in the face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops