what is the difference between lizzy and a momma hippo........ lizzy doesnt bathe.

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Heheheheh, Good one, you made me laugh, you just made me realize that it was indeed I that said that to you once, and now you are telling me. I know now, I am happy, not because I seek happiness, but because thinking, finding solutions, guiding myself and others, is what makes me happy. I feel like an alien, because my ideals, my solutions hopes and dreams that grow out of a result of my constant thinking, will never be in this world. Yet I also feel human now, because it could have been, humanity could have succeeded...

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Why is Michael Jackson a bad chess player? Because he's dead.

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How can you tell if a substance is an acid or a base just by looking at it? You can't. pH or Litmus paper would be necessary in order to determine whether a substance is an acid or a base.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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Why was the baker rich? Because he had a lot of money

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Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

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A: What are the nine most terrifying words in the English dictionary? B: What are they? A: I'm from the government and i'm here to help

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? About 144 licks but everyone gets different answers because we all lick lollipops differently.

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What is a Zebra? Zebras (/?z?br?/ zeb-r? or /?zi?br?/ zee-br?)[1] are several species of African equids (horse family) united by their distinctive black and white stripes. Their stripes come in different patterns, unique to each individual. They are generally social animals that live in small harems to large herds. Unlike their closest relatives, horses and donkeys, zebras have never been truly domesticated.

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Keep Scrolling Penis Keep scrolling Keep scrolling

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Obamacare

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roses are red pickles are green i like your legs and whats in between

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Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

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What is the worst gift a child can get? a gift

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What's worse then finding 10 babies in 1 trashcan? Finding 1 baby in 10 trashcans.

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Roses are black, Violets are black Everything is black I can't see

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What's funny about 3 black men in a car going off a cliff? Nothing. They were my friends.

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Why was the black man very rich? Because he was a lawyer who worked hard and was able to provide himself with a steady income.

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knock knock Get off my porch I've already called the police.

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What did one cake say to the other? You wanna piece of me?!?

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why did the Mexican fall and not the black man. i don't know, go ask the Asian.

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An Aisian failed a test

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what do you call 3 black men in a line up? their names

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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