A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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What is white and black and red all over.

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your face

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How many pupils does the teacher have? 2.

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My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin get in the car.

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What is the worst thing to say to a dying person? After you die I'm going to defile your corpse, nan.

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Why don't Black people Dream? Because the last one that did got shot.

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Tom: God! Matt:Where? Tom:Matt i was saying God ! Jesus! Matt: God and Jesus! wow! Tom: why am i talking to you? Matt: Wanna play a game? Tom:bye.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

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What do you call a rollercoaster without a coaster? A roller

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Roses are red, Violets are blue Oh, that's good to know.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because there were no cars coming

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Why was the boy upset? His penis fell off and his mom was making him go to the library.

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two japanese men walk into a bar. the first japanese man says “i am japanese!” the second japanese man says “i am also japanese!” the bartender then says “well, hey. i’m japanese too”. the bar was in japan.

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ding dong thats right no knock on door anymore

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If at first you dont succeed..... your not chuck norriss

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A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

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Why does Justin Beiber look like a girl? Because he achieved international fame and fortune at a prepubescent age, and has made more money before he turned 18 than most people will in their entire lives.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumbty took a great fall Because he was terribly intoxicated And failed to probably balance himself.

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What has one head, three eyes and seven legs? A cow with a tri-pod rammed up it's arse. The third eye is a result of a birth defect.

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whats long and black? a baton

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Q. What did the atheist ask the pregnant woman? A. You gonna eat that?

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Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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