Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped.

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I would like a rum and............ Coke." The bartender asks, curiously, "What's up with the big pause?" The bear looks down at his paws, embarrassed, and mumbles under his breath, "social anxiety."

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what is big and white? Your Mom

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how do you find a ghost? shoot yourself.

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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If you have read this its to late. You have already read this. Im am very sorry.

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Why did the prince kiss his beloved just before going into battle? Intermission.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A joke.

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LET'S PLAY CARDS SHUFFLE THE DECK *person with a deck-patio* no please don't

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Why doesn't a chicken wear pants? Because, there are no tailors in the area who make pants suitable for chickens to wear.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Go fuck yourself.

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How do chinese families name their children I belive it would be child because chinese families are only allowed 1 child

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What did the 80 year old man do to celebrate valentines day with his wife? Nothing, Alzheimer's made him forget about Valentines day.....and that he was married. What did his wife do for Valentines day? Killed herself.

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Why did the garbage man cross the road? He was doing his job.

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Why didn't the boy cross the street? He didn't have legs

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Yo mamma's so fat that the gravity required to keep her on the ground is significantly smaller than an average sized human.

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Why does Chuck Norris own a can named Chuck Norris? because he is self-centered due to all the attention payed to him for virtually no reason at all.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I personally really do not know

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How do you make Samuel L. Jackson cry? Trick question...Samuel L. Jackson don't cry. ever...

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My girlfriend wanted to talk about her feelings ... SO I TOLD THAT BITCH THAT... i really loved her and care about her feelings

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apple was gonna make a smaller ipod for kids but decided not to because they didnt want the name to be itouch kids.

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what would you watch during a scary movie? anything you want.

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What's brown and hides in the closet? The Diarrhea of Anne Frank.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops