What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny? Nothing. Nothing happens when you insert batteries backwards

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the richest fish in the sea? The one you threw a quarter at.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Who is the greatest cook ever? Adolof Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What can hitler cook well Steak

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A guy walks into a bar. No one notices he has epilepsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the pirate say when his parrot died? Nothing. He was upset and didn't really feel like talking.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

She loves me, she dosn't love me, she loves me, the girl walks up to the man and says, she doesn't love me

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you have Canasta!!! Were not playing canasta you stupid asshole

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the man say to the other man. Hi

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A black guy and a white guy are arguing over what race god is. So they go to god and ask what race he is. They never got their answer, because god doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What worse than being shot? Waking up and finding a penis in your mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A gay man walks into McDonald's. McDonald's serves people of all sexualities.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Did you hear the one about the streetlight? It only came on at night.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what cuts the grass on christmas eve and lives in mexico? JP I lied about Mexico jackin it in san diego

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The latter three thousand pages of this website.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the 11 year old boy stick his hand in a lawnmower nobody knows he hasnt come out of the coma yet

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A fat kid walks into a school. RUN KIDS IT'S BOMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

If i knew people where coming i would have trimed my antlers

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A moose walks into a store and asks the lady where the potatoes are. She says "isle five". he walks to isle five and there were no potatoes

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do an elephant, and a banana have in common? Neither one is an ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops