What did God say to the priest while he was masturbating.... ... God doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the sperm swim back? cos he realised that he was in someones anus!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Turkeys are obese

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A bear eats some honey. I'm not really sure why and I've never seen a bear eat honey in real life so I don't really know if the bear actually ate any.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did your Little brother get for Christmas? Lice.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the man shoot himself? Because he already shot his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Awwww sheeeeeeet!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, he malfunctioned and strangled him. Despite the authorities best efforts to free the kid, he was still strangled because robots are really strong. After killing the boy, the robot self destructed and leveled 5 city blocks everyone within the vicinity was killed.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why couldn't the little boy sleep? he was being tortured.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Billy Mays and Michael Jackson are up in Heaven, because they died recently.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Bill gates walked into a store and farted. It stunk up the entire place and the employees were mad. But it was their fault for not having windows.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Yo momma is so stupid people make fun of her for her learning disability

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why didn't Suzie go to the park? She commited suicide 2 years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why do men not get cullulite? Because it's ugly.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

11/9 Americans won't get this joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was the woman out of the kitchen? She was at her mother's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man is watching a football game and sees a comercial for a medicine that boosts testosterone levels. However, this man has no issues with his testosterone levels, so he proceeds to watch the rest of the game and then goes to bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? Wanted by the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb none, because chickens do not have opposable thumbs,therefore prevents them from preforming such a remedial task.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A Serbian Film

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A Black man walks into a gay bar. He has a great time because he is perfectly content with his sexuality.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats hard long and has cum in it cucumber

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops