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roses are red violets are blue some poems are good and some don't

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Britney got to the top of the building. What did she do next? She jumped off to end her miserable life

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Yesterday I was diagnosed with Depression... It made me sad.

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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Why is water clear? Because it doesn't have a pigmentation.

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's children? No. They look just like her.

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How many mathematicians does it take to count?

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Q: What said the first bagel to the other? A: Nothing! Bagels can't talk!

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Why did the old man cross the road? Coz he was in an ambulance

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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punchline below punchline above

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-What animal has the best vision? -I hate when you try to talk dirty during sex

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knock, knock who's there you yoohoo i don't like chocolate milk!

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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poop

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How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

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If you are American when you walk into a bathroom and American when you walk back out, what are you when you are inside the bathroom? You're probably dispelling waste products from your body.

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What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor

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do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

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What did Electra give her Dad for his birthday? Head. That's why her name is Electra.

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What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops