Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because seven threatened to murder his family

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!"

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Two construction workers are working on the final floor of what will soon be the worlds tallest building. The first turns to the other and says: "Hey tom can you throw me a three quarters hex wrench? i think my set is metric." the second guy turns around and says: "yea, here you go."

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Whats do Hispanics and Blacks have in common? They are both stereo-typically defined and thus the subject of many popular jokes.

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What's black and white and red all over? An embarrassed skunk.

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A 8 year old kid and his dad are having quality time at the park,and relax at a nearby picnic bench after a thrilling game of tag."I love you." says the son. The father about to respond,promptly gets shot by 3 stray military issue assault rifle bullets that came from a heated dispute about a stolen car that got way out of hand. He dies,and the kid ran crying a long distance away. After he gets himself in a dark alley with nobody else around he laughs,and mutters "The plan went perfectly!" He pulls out a detonator and presses it. The White House,Washington Monument,and several nuclear power plants across the continental United States blow up,killing millions of people.The child,also in possession of nuclear bombs, holds the entire world hostage and becomes ruler of the entire planet Earth. Fin.

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Man: Would you like to see someone Man 2: Sure Man: How bout the inside of an ambulance

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How do you keep an idiot busy? Give him something to do.

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There are two muffins in a oven, the first muffin is chocolate chip and the second muffin is blueberry.

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I once went to a chiropractor. She was so awful looking. You know those weird spiky fish with the lightbulb hanging off it's head? .....I saw one in a documentary once.

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What's the worst joke ever? Justin Bieber.

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How do you make Adolf Hitler angry? You can't, dead people are not sentient, and hence cannot feel anger.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face" The horse responds "My daughter has cancer"

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"Why did the chicken cross the road? ... To get to your house. Knock knock." "Who's there?" "The chicken"

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What do the duck and elephant have in common?? Nothing, they are completely different species.

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How do you survive the end of the world? You can't- everyone will die!

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Why couldn't the baker get a new car? Because he lived in a recession and nobody was buying his cakes.

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Why did the little boy cry? Because his parents were shot in the face while he was forced to watch you insensitive jerk Now walk away ????

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Why did the man smell like french toast? His wife previously made him a plate of it that he ate before walking out of the house.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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What did the blind kid say to his dad Nothing , his dads dead

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In my country we don't swim, we drown.

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i like my woman how i like my coffe... without d i c k s

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What do you call a guy with no legs and no arms? Mat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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