A man removed Stephen Hawkings hand off his keyboard, what did Stephen say to the man? Nothing his hand isnt on the keyboard.

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Cancer. Super Cancer.

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Why did the baby's bedroom smell so bad? The mom farted.

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THIS!!!!!!! IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SPARTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why didn't the black man go to work? He had to attend his sister's funeral, who just recently passed away after her long hard battle with breast cancer.

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how many baby's does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

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Knock, knock. Who's there? FBI. FBI who? The FBI. We have your house surrounded. Pervert.

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? The person who made that "joke" down there has no life ?

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What did the orange say to the apple? “To be sentient is truly unbearable without sexual organs.”

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Q: Wy did the Araib cross the road? A: To open another gas station.

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What was the weather like at the rap concert?there was a lil wayne.I DID A FUNNY! !!

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Your mother is so ugly that I removed her from my friends list on Facebook.

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A man walks into a bar. On impact, he suffers quite the blow to his head, resulting in him falling unconscious. He is escorted to the hospital, where he is pronounced in a coma on arrival. His family is left devastated. His wife, who was a stay-at-home mother to their 2 children doesn't take this news very well and is sent into a spiraling depression. 16 years later, the man finally wakes from his coma to find that his son and daughter that he had left behind where now grown teenagers and almost done with high school, his wife's has remarried and given birth to his half-child. This is why you don't text while walking down a sidewalk.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, didn't you read the sign on the front door? It says, "People with suits on will not be served." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Unfortunately there are billions of chickens in the world and based on the question it is not possible to determine which specific chicken is being referred to. Even if we were able to ascertain this knowledge it would be unlikely that we could determine its purpose, as chickens don't usually make decisions based on logical thought.

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Q: A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? A:They both take turns, because they are driving across the country and it would be hard for one of them to drive the entire way.

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What do you call a woman who can't walk? A paraplegic.

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Q: How to make a man who suffers from hypochondria want to kill himself? A: You take a shet on his face.

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How many Jews can you fit inside a car? Legally somewhere between 2 and 9 depending on seat belt availability and passenger space.

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Why is Brendan stupid. Because he's mentally retarded due to the fact he was dropped as a chil.d

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roses are brown violets are brown, who took a shit in my garden

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Yo' momma is so fat, that- Wait. Sorry. Too far?

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What is the difference between a rabbit and a stick? One lives and one not.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse replies, "my wife has cancer."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops