A man walks into a bar. He is a diabetic and promptly goes into a coma after drinking.

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How come the dog didn't want to go into the sun? -Because it didn't want to turn into a hotdog.

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how do u make a baby cry? you shouldnt. Stop thinking of ways to make a kid cry... asshole.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away her Gameboy.

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This is Mr.Bear you all are on rtc for the next week. See me in G7 NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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roses are red, violets are blue i couldnt spend one night without you

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Q: why did the boy walk into the woods alone? A: nobody knows he hasn't come out yet

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What will your friend do after you kill him? Nothing, he is dead.

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How do you make seven an even number? You don't, it's impossible.

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How do you make Samuel L. Jackson cry? Trick question...Samuel L. Jackson don't cry. ever...

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Why did the garbage man cross the road? He was doing his job.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A joke.

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Yo mamma's so fat that the gravity required to keep her on the ground is significantly smaller than an average sized human.

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The awkward moment when you find your wife on the online dating site you are on.

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LET'S PLAY CARDS SHUFFLE THE DECK *person with a deck-patio* no please don't

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My girlfriend wanted to talk about her feelings ... SO I TOLD THAT BITCH THAT... i really loved her and care about her feelings

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Why are black people black? Because they're clearly not white.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms and she was blind.

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What did the 80 year old man do to celebrate valentines day with his wife? Nothing, Alzheimer's made him forget about Valentines day.....and that he was married. What did his wife do for Valentines day? Killed herself.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Go fuck yourself.

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Why did the toilet paper roll? Because it isn't rock!

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How do chinese families name their children I belive it would be child because chinese families are only allowed 1 child

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stapled to a deer

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Why does Chuck Norris own a can named Chuck Norris? because he is self-centered due to all the attention payed to him for virtually no reason at all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops