im not food

thumb_up thumb_down -15

edmond alward. handyman services. call 0858430803.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did it look like the girl peed herself? Because she peed herself

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock knock *open*

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red Violets are blue classic

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I think my son might be gay. He's started to listen to Justin Bieber, and last week I walked in on him engaging in penetrative anal sex with one of his friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the cripple wish for when he saw the shooting star? A toothbrush.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

the redsox

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why do monkeys fly with their wings? Because Elephants tend to run out of battery.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats yello and cant swim A bus full of dead children in a lake

thumb_up thumb_down -17

raising eyebrows to expose eyes can also be a signal of attraction ('I'm looking at you, gorgeous. Can you see?').

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? The black man. The mexican got his arms shot off in the war and is severely paralyzed. God Bless our troops. Thank you for serving us.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what did the drunk man say to the bar tender? Hello good sir. Fine day today isn't it.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Yo' momma is so fat, that- Wait. Sorry. Too far?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

roses are brown violets are brown, who took a shit in my garden

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? A:They both take turns, because they are driving across the country and it would be hard for one of them to drive the entire way.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken cross the road? Unfortunately there are billions of chickens in the world and based on the question it is not possible to determine which specific chicken is being referred to. Even if we were able to ascertain this knowledge it would be unlikely that we could determine its purpose, as chickens don't usually make decisions based on logical thought.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

who should be competing in the paralympics? Brent the retard!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Your mother is so ugly that I removed her from my friends list on Facebook.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a woman who can't walk? A paraplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man walks into a bar. On impact, he suffers quite the blow to his head, resulting in him falling unconscious. He is escorted to the hospital, where he is pronounced in a coma on arrival. His family is left devastated. His wife, who was a stay-at-home mother to their 2 children doesn't take this news very well and is sent into a spiraling depression. 16 years later, the man finally wakes from his coma to find that his son and daughter that he had left behind where now grown teenagers and almost done with high school, his wife's has remarried and given birth to his half-child. This is why you don't text while walking down a sidewalk.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: How to make a man who suffers from hypochondria want to kill himself? A: You take a shet on his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why is Brendan stupid. Because he's mentally retarded due to the fact he was dropped as a chil.d

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops