Two women get in the shower at the same time, because they both start work at 8:00am and have commutes of similar length.

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What would Chuck Norris do if you insulted him? Nothing. He probably doesn't have time for such foolishness.

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eh dylan quieres que te trolle de nuevo

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Whats the difference between a lamp and Morgan Freeman? Alot

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How do you get a black man to run? Ask him how his day has been, catch up on some memories of your time at school together, then challenge him to a foot race.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is a escaped mental patient that thinks 6 betrayed him

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Why did the black man run when he heard police sirens? Because he was parked in a handicap spot

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Why can't the Mexican float? He never learned the proper technique as he was not allowed to take swim class.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, seeing as the slaughterhouse was directly across the road from the farm where the chicken lived, the man who owned the farm led his flock of chickens across the street when they were of age and fattened up so that they could be inhumanly massacred in order to process an order of chicken nuggets.

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Why shouldn't 6 guys sleep naked in the same bed? They would not fit

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Boom! Splat! You'll never know.

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Why don't traffic lights go swimming? Because they aren't sentient or animate, and therefore can't decide to undertake such an activity. Even if they were sentient, they wouldn't enjoy swimming as the water would damage their electrical works.

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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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Why is josh such a retard Because when he was born a brick fell on his head.

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Why didnt the 14 year old get her period? Because she had gotten pregnant by her father

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A zebra and a giraffe are out in a safari and they see some humans. And then the cow, was drinking, the man was milking the drink, when the giraffe was going to buy some milk. She said, the was yeah okay.

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Q: How to make a man who suffers from hypochondria want to kill himself? A: You take a shet on his face.

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Ben: Something smells like updog. Jenny: What's updog? Ben: Nothin' much

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Knock knock, Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana Smith, I'm here for the Smith Family Reunion.

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What's the difference between a portuguese widow and a llama? One is a portuguese widow and the other isn't.

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How did the black kid apply for college? The Common App. Duhh

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When Chuck Norris moved into a new house he decide to renovate because he didn't like the staircase.

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Y the girl tuch her butt she tried To get dookie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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