What do a plane and a flight attendant have in common? They're both going somewhere in their careers. Aside from the flight attendant.

why didn't the boy get his soda Because the cashier shot him

Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

Sam murray got home after school one day, he siad hello to his father and possibly played some Avatar on the D.S

chuck norris was shot yesterday... tomorrow is the bullets funeral.

Did you hear that the actress, Reese what's-her-name, got stabbed to death? Witherspoon? No, with a knife.

Knock knock Who's there Orange Orange who Orange

Q: What do you call a dog driving a car? A: A dog driving a car.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He didn't give in to peer pressure.

A drunk guy walks into a car

What's blue and fluffy? Pink fluff holding its breath

Two biscuits were sitting in an oven. One says to the other hows it going, the other says nothing because he knows that biscuits can't talk.

There once was a man from Peru, Whose limericks all stopped on line two.

Hey I just met you and this is crazy this song doesn't rhyme penis

What can little Billy play? The tumour, sorry I meant what will little Billy die from.

What's the same about a duck-billed platypus and a duck? They both have a duck bill on their face... Duh!

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why the fuck he crossed the road, I don't know what he is thinking.

What did the blind man say when you asked hi his favorite color? Nothing he is death too

Q: Why didn't i save my work? A: Because i didn't do any work?

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

I forgot what came after: Roses are Red Violets are Blue Too much anti jokes

What do you call a fly without wings? A rather unfortunate physical disability

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can A hundred dead babies in a trash can Whats worse than a hundred dead babies in a trash can A live one at the bottom Whats worse than that It eats it way out Whats worse than that It brings friends

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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