How long does it take a black woman to take a shit? Why in the world would you want to know something like that? But anyway, the answer is somewhere, on average, between 10 seconds and 15 minutes. It really varies and conditions like irritable bowel syndrome and constipation affect this range. Actually it takes about 9 months.

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what has legs but can't walk? a paraplegic

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A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

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What’s brown, sticky and smells like poo? Shit!!

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Why did the blond fall of the ladder? She had no arms.

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what is the difference of left and right? i used my right hand to stab your mother.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names.

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Wumbo

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

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Whats 9+10? 19

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Why was the thirteen year old raped by an online predator? Because he made very poor choices on giving out his personal information.

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Reduce, reuse, recycle Anti-joke.com

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Why did the cockroach cross the road? Why do you ask?

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Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

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What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

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u smell oh no of wat?? dunno i just know its BADDDDDDD !!!!!! k.c

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't make for a very good accountant.

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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What's white and cant jump? A Fridge

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When you are swimming across the ocean, and you lose your wheels, what's the difference between a duck? ... Because bananas have no bones.

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A young christian boy walks into a church and gets raped

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Why did the man mysteriously disappear? Because he was hiding without telling anyone that he was hiding.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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