Once upon a time a girl took a gun and shot herself in the face

Why doesnt Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesnt float.

What's the difference between a tube of toothpaste and Youtube? If you squeeze a tube of toothpaste then toothpaste comes out. You cannot squeeze Youtube because it is a popular video sharing website. Even if you could squeeze it, no toothpaste would come out..

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Knock knock. Whose there. Uninterupting black lady. Uninter.... MMMMMMMHHHHMMMM. Black ladies never listen

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

What’s brown, sticky and smells like poo? Shit!!

Runescape.

How Long is a Chinese name.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They brutally whipped and tortured her.

what is the difference of left and right? i used my right hand to stab your mother.

So an asian man gets into a car... and drives home on the highway driving at the approximate speed of the designated speed limit while exhibiting safe driving maneuvers. He arrives home to his wife and kids and sits down for a nice dinner while having a engaging conversation about the political future of the United States and his favorite football team.

Why did the police stopped the black driver? Because one of his car's lights was busted.

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What's sad about a house on fire?, it was my house.

Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone? A. He got attacked by a dog.

Why do Mexicans like to eat burritos? They are delicious.

What did the thief get for Christmas? Nothing. He was sentenced to the death penalty.

Knock, knock! “Who's there?” “The Gestapo.”

What happened to the public server who went to the 5 dollar brothel? He contracted syphilis and died several months later.

A horse walks into a bar... Horses are not indigenous to China.

What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

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Roses are gray, violets are gray, everything's gray, bitch im a dog.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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