What do you call a pig standing on its back legs? Yo mama

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69.9

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To be honest that sounds like more of a mental health issue and not something I'm qualified to deal with as a GP. Let me refer you.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? He was on his way home from work and saw some youths loitering on the street corner and thought it best to avoid them and therefore any possible confrontation. He would also appreciate it if you would call him something along the lines of Bravery impaired instead of a chicken as he finds it offensive and doesn't fully understand the avian reference to his lack of confidence.

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What's the most stupid thing you have ever heard? Woman's Studies.

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Roses are red, violets are blue That's a fact.

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Why did Charlie fall? He got shot 24 times in the chest.

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Hey, is that your corvette. No I thought it was yours.

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Q: What happened to Michael Jackson yesterday? A: Nothing.

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Whats the best way to take down a skycraper? -Crash a plane into it-

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live or die you decide to late time to die

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Why did the hipster hate black people? Because he was racist.

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Q: What is hard and long on a man? A: His wife's funeral

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf. That would be irresponsible/

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

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Pickup Line: Hay girl is that a mirror in your pants. Becuase I can see me in it.

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

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A crazy priest squats down and poops in the middle of the church... nobody understood what was going so they pointed and laughed.

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Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the slaughter house

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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