2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock, knock! “Who's there?” “The Gestapo.”

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Did you hear about that show where two crazy guy got on stage and the show had to be canceled. I didnt either.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A guy vociferiously kills another person- fueled by the incentive of personal gain provided by his rapacious, human nature. He is an army soldier who's triumphant in battle and hoping to recieve a promotion. However, ultimately all he did was essentially insignificantt and his acts of purported valor were diametrically unnoticed by all except for his closest friends/allies. He never did supass his original self of a soldier and died of a natural cause that was disclosed only to the members of his immediate family.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the little girl fall off the swing set? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man walked in a bar had 4 drinks and walked home because drunk driving is dangerous

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

thumb_up thumb_down +7

9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? Nothing, he's the same person

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Hi

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

69.9

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a pig standing on its back legs? Yo mama

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Your carpol will be here soon! What a pool for cars is coming?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Your d*ck is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Your moms so fat She should get some help because there's nothing good about being fat

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a donkey walking backwards a confused donkey

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Howdy stranger.... It is time for you to join! SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT! SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT! Moral: "HEY YOU! STFU! STFU! STFU! STFU!"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops