Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Knock! Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A blind man walks into a bar and a table and a lady....

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why'd the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Chickens are raised on farms, which are away from society. They are taken care of in pens, and have no way of escaping. Therefore it couldn't have crossed any roads.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock knock whose there? i have a warrant, i excpect you to come out peacefully with you hands behind you back

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

There once was an Asian kid who got a B+ in Math. He was later yelled at and beat by his parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is the difference between a dead baby and a bowling ball? You can't pick up a bowling ball with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

thumb_up thumb_down -23

whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Roses are red violets are blue ... Aww I just don't give a damn and nether do you.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

I just lost the game where if you think about the game then you lose the game. so did you.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -151

Q: What did the mime say to the crowd gathered at the crime scene? A:

thumb_up thumb_down +64

how do you stop a baby crying hit it with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Yo Mama is so stupid, she was riding her bike down the street when she was distracted and rode off a cliff. Oh crap I am so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What would be funny? Seeing justin beiber 's penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Why can't Michael Jackson drive? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why did Michael Jackson ask a Best Buy clerk for the best 3D TV? He didn't ... He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops