What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

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Why did the hipster hate black people? Because he was racist.

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What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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How do you make a blond to shoot herself? You give her a gun and than ask her to pull the trigger.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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Q: what is more sad than being alone A: being alone with lots of cats

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A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

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Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the slaughter house

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Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

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Hi

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What worse than a baby nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally weighed 500 lbs and it was a bamboo tree.

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What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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if you have hair on the palm of your hand you might want to get that checked out

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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What do you call a donkey walking backwards a confused donkey

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Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

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Freeza: I am the strongest in the universe! (if you ignore my brother Coola which is much stronger and all...) Goku: You have pissed me off now Freeza, I will now turn into a super Asian and prove to the world that real Asians are actually blonde and blue eyed! (I am sure Goku means Sayans, which is "completely different") Goku: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG! Freeza: Omg, he... he... is trying to take a dump! IMPOSSIBLE! I will have to find his balls and caress them... Will Goku ever take a shit? Or reach all new levels of constipation during the series? Find out in the next episode of dragon ball z!

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why were the little boy's clothes all wet? because they found his body in the bottom of a river.

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Roses are red It's 4 in the morning I have full blown aids I'm going to bed now, this is boring

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How do you upset Muslims? Kill their leader. Whoops, already did.

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Hey, is that your corvette. No I thought it was yours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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