Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

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Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

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It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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What's more stinky than a fart? More farts.

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Q: what is more sad than being alone A: being alone with lots of cats

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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how do you get expelled? Rape a special ed kid.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i dont have any cones, just rods.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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A Asian man with a boner runs and hits the wall... He beaks his nose.

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Why did the duck cross the road? To get cream cheese.

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Your mama's so fat, she gets confused with Santa Claus.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

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What is green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree and onto your head? A pool table.

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Why dont you ever see any black mermaids? Mermaids dont exist.

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Susie is 14 & she never listens to her mom, why is that? She's deaf.

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Oh, um, sorry i forgot the rest...

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What's the difference between a prostitute and a cherry red Ferrari? A cherry red Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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A wolf boards a plane with two dead rabbits in his mouth. The flight attendant approaches him and says, "Sir, you can only have one of those on the plane." The wolf bites her throat out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops