Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A man walked into a bar, he then fell to the ground screaming in pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

i'm a loser with body odor.. plus i play pokemon to pass the time because reality is just to horrible to face. guess who? josh wood.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

how do you get expelled? Rape a special ed kid.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU CARE? LET THE POOR CHICKEN IN PEACE! No, seriously he was going to his mother's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Were your parents drunk when they named you?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot. *BOOM* Never mind, he was a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What does Mitt Romney approve of flip flops? They feel good on his feet.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock Knock "Who's There?" *No answer* The man proceeds to go on with his life

thumb_up thumb_down -6

a man walks into a bar he is an alcohol and it's ruining his family

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How did the cat die? I just it nine times

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Yo Momma's so old... She has lived a great life and you should be very proud of her even though she is slowly dying of a degenerative disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I Hear Boston Is having a blast.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Want to hear a joke? Me to...

thumb_up thumb_down -38

what is the difference of a duck..... it neither wears tie.....

thumb_up thumb_down -58

What is the difference between a black guy and an asian? They are both black, except the asian

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange. Aren't You Glad I Didn't Say Cliterus?

thumb_up thumb_down -124

Knock knock Who's there? That that that. What makes you say that?

thumb_up thumb_down +91

Why can't Michael Jackson drive? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops