Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Because he was dead.

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1134

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Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

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Knock, knock! “Who's there?” “The Gestapo.”

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Did you hear about that show where two crazy guy got on stage and the show had to be canceled. I didnt either.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender-"Hey we don't serve your kind here!" The duck-"What ducks?" The bartender -"No Jewish"

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing set? She had no arms.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Come in" "Come in who?"

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What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

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What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

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What did the dog say to the cat? I have no idea. I wasn't there.

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How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

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Roses are red, Muslims are brown, When I see them swimming, I hope that they drown!

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How did Hitler make the world a better place? He died.

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How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

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Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

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Pickup Line: Hay girl is that a mirror in your pants. Becuase I can see me in it.

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Welcome to Watchmojo dot com and today we'll be talking about the Top 10 numbers from 1 through 10. In this episode we will be discussing which numbers from 1 to 10 gain popularity and mainstream appeal amongst people from all over the world. Number 10. 10 (Ten) Number 9. 6 (Six) Number 8. 8 (Eight) Number 7. 4 (Four) Number 6. 5 (Five) Number 5. 3 (Three) Number 4. 2 (Two) Number 3. 9 (Nine) Number 2. 7 (Seven) Here are some honorable mentions: 3.14 9.9 1 and a half Number 1. 1 (One)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

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Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the slaughter house

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9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

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FIRE!!

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What did the FBI agent say to the CIA agent. We're both agents

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops