What did squidward do when SpongeBob asked him to be his friend on Facebook? 1.declined it 2.got a restraining order against him 3.wondered how computer generated cartoon characters could send and decline friend requests

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Why shouldn't I go out today? Well I haven't done any work today. Actually no. It's not that. I'd have to ask my guardian Sally to bring out the wheelchair, and well, I'm afraid of her. She beats me. My hobbies are playing football, watching Loose Women and looking at pictures of Gary Barlow on Google Images.

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1)Where do you find a turtle with no legs? 2)Where? 1)Where you left it. 1)... Knock Knock... 2)Who's there? 1)...Not the turtle...

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes now you do too.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? A. Spot

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An atheist and a priest agree to a public debate. The priest doesn't make much of an attempt to argue because there is a young boy in his podium giving him a handjob.

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Ed Milliband knows what's best for the UK.

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How do you enter a gas station? Through the front door

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Sex education in Texas.

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Phew... it's gone.

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What has seven ears, four legs and two arms? Nothing.

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What do you give a man who has everything? Syphilis

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Every Good Boy Deserves Fibromyalgia

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Why did Johnny's pants fall down? Because he was fat.

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Roses are red Violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

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NO ONE LIKES YOU!!!!

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three people walked into a bar and there was a blackman,a jew,a white man and a nazi bartendor which ones did he shoot? The black and the jew and the white man

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what's worse than finding a truck full of dead babys taking them out with a pitchfork

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What's big, white, and red all over? A refrigerator that happened to fall on a small child.

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your momma is so stupid shes fricken retarded

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Whats black and white all over? Michael Jackson

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What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both can fly except for the mole

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Warning: Legit Joke Below What is the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? Only one can raise a child.

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What did the strawberry say to the grape? Nothing, inanimate objects can't use verbal communication.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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