why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Cause violence is against the law

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock knock. This is a no soliciting residence, and I do not open my door for strangers.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the slaughterhouse was on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Two crabs are standing on a wall. One of them falls down. The second one's name is Georges.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why do you want to know? And what did the censor get? Okay okay you are not boring nor stale nor anything, please increase the effect of this thing, its not working very well when I try to.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road---- because he's having financial and relationship related problems that make his life so hideously unbearable that he wants to kill himself and because he's a chicken and cannot overdose or hang himself he goes for the most viable option as to run across a busy street in hopes of getting smashed to oblivion by a car

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -5

4/20 is a holiday just like Christmas.. I lied you just get baked

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the carrot jumped over the fence? It didn't. Carrots do not have the physical ability to jump.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the man's ex-wife told him after their divorce? "Build a bridge and get over did" And so he did because hes a contractor that specialized in structures spanning and providing passage over a gap or barrier, such as a river or roadway

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? To mutilate the body of a dead Jewish girl that lay on the other side. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you get a chicken to cross the road? Get him in the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you get when you cross a hooker with five shots of tequila? Herpes

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many babies can fit in a dumpster? Let's not find out...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What was the babies first word? Nothing: It was a still-born.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is the difference between an empty bucket and a bucket of water? The Water.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

There were two bagels sitting on a table in Denny's. One bagel turns to the other and says, "So how did that job interview go?" The other replies, "It went great, thanks".

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the cancer patient often bullied by his peers? Because he happened to be an extremely bad person. He often annoyed people, was intransigent and often aggravated those around him causing them to bully him.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why do babies have soft spots? The skull of a baby is made up of skull bones, and in the places where the bones meet there are soft spots made up of a strong cartilage to allow the skull to grow with the baby's brain.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you get when you cross a sheep with a lion? A dead sheep.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's big, yellow and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A JCB!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops