Don't you hate it when you have 5 dead bodies, and you don't know which one to shoot your load on? -no

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You know who else sucks dick? My aunt Jane. She was forced to become a prostitute after she got fired from her job.

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Waitress: Would you like to have a drink? Customer: (Looks at the drink's menu) Hmmmm... What are my choices? Waitress: Yes and no.

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What do you call a boy that was once a boy, but no longer is a boy? A Man

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Hitler wasn't that bad... He DID kill Hitler.

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Stop Iran! We need the money.

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Chuck Norris is so strong that he could bench almost 250 pounds in his heyday.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a mustang? I dont have a mustang in my garage.

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What would Ronald Reagan say if he was alive today? Nice to meet you my name is Ronald Reagan

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm drunk, I want Taco Bell.

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roses are red violets are blue they are pretty and you are not

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What did one salt shaker say to the other salt shaker? Nothing, Salt shakers are merely used to add flavor to foods.

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A frog goes to a lake. he meets a photographer , the frog ask him ( can you take a picture of me? he says: sure ...say cheese.... then the frog said :....yogurt

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What do you call Mary in a wheelchair ... virgin mobile

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer

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Yo mama so fat she runs the risk of stroke, heart disease, or diabetes

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Why did the fish but the house Because it wanted to eat the house

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What do you call a cat with no ears? Anything you fucking well like. Cats can't understand speech.

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Why did the man cross the road? To get to the homeless shelter.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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what do you call your mama at the gas station

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What do you call a black woman in a pool? Drowning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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