Three men, a doctor, a lawyer, and a biker were sitting in a bar talking over a few drinks. After a sip of his Martini, the doctor said, "You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I bought my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedes. I figure if she doesn't like the diamond ring, then at least she will like the Mercedes, and she will know that I love her." After finishing his scotch, the lawyer said, "Well, on my last anniversary, I bought my wife a string of pearls and a trip to the Bahamas. I figured if she didn't like the pearls, then at least she would have enjoyed the trip, and she would have known that I loved her." The biker then took a big swig from his beer, and said, "Yeah, well for my anniversary, I got my old lady a t-shirt and a vibrator. I figured if she didn't like the t-shirt, then she could go f*** herself."

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Whats wrong Nero? What happened? Please pick up the phone, I am trying to call you, but it just goes from dialing to changing tunes, please do not be upset with me, what did I do wrong? I thought we had an understanding, please just pick up the phone, if you already have my number and all you got nothing to lose...

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Why is motorboating so much fun? Because they are unmatched for their speed and agility in the water.

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Do gingers have souls ? No, Gingers are a myth made up in the 13th centuary to scare little kids.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Two men walk into a bar...They are traveling together for a convention and like pub type bars and are excited to be there.

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My daughter got a kinder surprise with cool toy today..... i killed her i didnt even want the toy

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knock knock whos there? jew jew who ? jew son o a b**** ? (aimed at ight wing racist jews)

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A Jew finally tipped He was in a canoe

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Why did god create anti-jokes? He didn't.

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what did the black kid get for christmas? I dont know....whatever he wrote on his wishlist.

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— Knock knock. — Who's there? — Funny. — Funny who? — A funny joke.

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You idiot thats 9 letters

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Who do you call when you see a ghost on the street? GHOSTBUSTERS!!!! no, ghostbusters are not real, you call the police

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Why is it easy to steal candy from a baby? Because the baby is smaller, weaker and would not pose any threat.

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Yo mamma is so old that she lives in a retirement home for the aged, and will most likely die there in several years.

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Have you seen Whitney Houston's new house? Neither has she.

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What's black and fast? A treadmill.

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ccjcjcjcjcjcjjcjcjcjjcjcjcjcjcjcjccjcjcj why

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot. Duh.

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what do you call a rich, gay guy from Florida? Iron man

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What do you get when you cross scabies with genital warts? Krusty Krabs.

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What has two legs and two arms? A Human

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two kids see a girl naked in the woods They walk away promptly to their homes and tell their mothers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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