Want to hear a joke? 12 year olds

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what is green and has wheels grass i lied about the wheels

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What looks like a horse, but smells and has feathers? A dead horse with a pidgeon in its ass.

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What is mary short for? Mary had an accident with a semi-truck and had to get both of her legs amputated.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry Show me your tits

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Canadians

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boys

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A bunch of nuns were riding a three-seat bicycle. The seats were comfy and no one complained.

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese

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Did you hear about the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13 for sexual content/nudity, language, and some violence.

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why did the man hop everywhere? He only had one leg

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My friend was in court for stealling smoothies so i told him to plead innocent and received 10 years in a federal prison and a fine of up too £5000 pounds

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree?Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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Whats bright red and claws at the window? Baby in a microwave.

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What do you call a kid with no friends? ....a Sandy Hook survivor

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What did one cake say to the other? You wanna piece of me?!?

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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what is worst than 1 bee stings two bee stings what is worst than two bee stings holocaust what is worse than three bee stings getting raped by a giant scorpion

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What happened to the disabled man who went to Disneyland? He had a great time.

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What do you call a Christmas tree with lights on it? A Christmas tree with lights on it.

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Why did the boy Drop his Ice Cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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what did the purple horse say to the goat? horses don't talk....

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Q. How many Jews can you fit in a blender ? A. 37 but you can try and prove me wrong

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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