- Anti Joke

What did the black guy say to the white guy running off the cliff? Watch out! You're running off a cliff!

Why was the little boy sad? He was recently molested.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Today I'll wear a hat on my head Instead of a shoe.

what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks why the long face? The horse, unable to comprehend human speech, promptly craps on the floor and leaves.

Where do drunk asians live? In their house or apartment with their families, who are concerned about his drinking.

What does a shortstop do when the ball is by third base? He leaves the field to go to the hospital, his little sister just had a heart attack.

What's the difference between a microwave and hamster? They're both furry except for the microwave

How many squirrels does it take to screw out a light bulb? None because squirrels lack the strength and mind set to screw out a light bulb.

Did the single mother survive the plane crash? No.

What do you get when you put a blue bucket in the red sea? it gets wet

in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

A man and his friend go hunting,one falls in a hole and appears dead. The friend calls 911 and asks what to do, the operator says ok first we need to make sure he's dead. The friend checks his pulse and finds out he is living, then an ambulance is sent and the hunter lives with minor injuries.

There once was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many children, her vagina fell off.

What did the dog say to the astro turf? SHUT UP!! I don't want to here your excuses, put the dishes away when you're done with them or so help me! You see the dog had been abused as a puppy and as a result he was always a bit off.

Your mom is so fat that her doctor told her to go on a diet.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why was 6 afraid of 7.... because 7 was black

Why did the football player walk so funny? He went to Penn State!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was suicidal.

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven drove two planes into the world trade center.

Knock knock. Get out!!

When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

*puts thumbs up on own anti-joke. Nobody needs to know....

A man walked into a bar making it immediately apparent that he had no future in competitive limbo.